Acknowledging Pain: The Cannabis Cleanse Diaries

The Cannabis Cleanse Diaries

Day 13

The past week has proved challenging.

I left Missouri feeling like I hadn’t accomplished enough, and sunk into denial about my overwhelming to-do list. Traveling while being productive isn’t an easy task.

Thursday came and went. I allowed myself to run a few errands and picked up some food to eat on throughout the next week and a half while on the road. Somehow, I still managed to spent $50 at Whole Foods for my one tiny sack of groceries…but that’s just Colorado for you.


Keeping my Cannabis Cleanse in mind,

I tried to get a balanced array of things that would cover my nutritional bases. I bought a bag of fresh apples, a couple mangoes, and a few bananas for my fresh food factor. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find my ideal bread (whole wheat, baked fresh at location with no sugar added) but did pick up this loaf. Peanut butter and cottage cheese covered my protein, and I found no sugar added blueberry jam (only 1 g of sugar per tbsp!). I’ve enjoyed mixing the blueberry jam with cottage cheese for a sweet addition to a meal. The Wacky Apple Mango Applesauce is also a good snack or side to a sandwich. I also got some sliced cheese and turkey from the deli for quick and simple sandwiches. The only thing I was lacking was some green stuff – but that’s just difficult to travel with! Especially when you’re not really a fan of the raw ones…so I’ve been trying to make sure I get greens on my meals when I go out to eat.

I love wandering the aisles of Whole Foods and gazing upon the gorgeous packaging designs like I’m in a museum. I was loving the Dark Chocolate Covered Toffee bar packaging and too curious to see how the actual product looked inside – so I decided to splurge on my cleanse and get the bar. It proved to be a classic mistake, as I ate the bar in about a 2-hour sitting after a fat celebratory “I’m in Colorado!” dab (although it could have been worse…I could have bought a cupcake too). It was an in-my-face reminder that munchies are very real after being in the land of pure-CBD for so long. I cautioned myself to exercise moderation during this trip, and do my best to surround myself with healthy snacks when I was high.


After indulging on the candy bar, I allowed myself a nap and then got ready for the Winter event that night. I had an amazing time. Of course, I ended up breaking my cleanse a little. During the appetizer portion of the night, I declined a mixed beverage and just used my Puffco instead as I mingled about the room. But when dinner was served, I ended up drinking the white wine paired with our meal – admittedly, without really realizing at first (this wine was actually so good that I didn’t think it was wine!) I drank only one glass throughout the entire duration of the meal and really enjoyed it.

The next day, though, I could tell that my system was a little messed up from the alcohol I had the night before. Since I never drink, even that small amount was enough to throw my body out of whack. I don’t mean in a way of being hung-over – but definitely feeling exhausted and bloated. And after the decadent dessert we had the opportunity to feast on, all I could think about was sugar.

That day, I worked in the morning and then grabbed lunch with a friend in town. We had Pica’s Tacos in Boulder, which was good but perhaps not exactly the nutrients my body needed after my night. In the evening, I hung out with my host friend and we splurged on Denny’s and Sweet Cow ice cream. Let’s just say those were not good decisions. On top of these poor eating decisions for the week, I wasn’t getting much exercise between driving from town to town and working, either. And my body has been angry with me.


Then the weekend was here,

and I drove up to Vail to stay with another friend from college. The snow storm derailed our plans of exploring Denver and Boulder for the day, but we adventured Vail Village and had a wonderful day styling photos.


The whole weekend, though, I could feel myself being anxious and frustrated.

It’s been hard to focus, and I haven’t felt much like doing social media (I kind of dropped off the face of the internet for a week, there). I mentioned before that my best friend and I have been fighting, which had happened right before I left. As much as we don’t likr to admit it, that type of stuff affects us. Last night, I had the realization that I was trying to distract myself with working or care-free exploring or even eating to escape dealing with the overwhelming emotions I was facing on a personal level. I wasn’t following the principle of the Cannabis Cleanse, “I will acknowledge any pain I may experience. Whether it is physical or mental, I will not ignore the imbalances in my body. I will trust in myself to work through discomfort, stress, and exhaustion, and I will give myself time to heal.”


I think in our culture,

we’re taught and pressured to keep our feelings inside and go about our lives normally. But it’s important to the healing process and for happiness that we face our emotions and work through them. It doesn’t matter if society thinks your emotions are silly or uncalled for – you’re having them, either way, and need to learn how to deal with them. 

Instead of ignoring my mind telling me that I’m upset, I should sit with my emotions and sort through how I’m feeling, ultimately trying to better understand myself so that I can better deal with the situation I’m facing. I need to acknowledge that those feelings are there and support myself through them. Cannabis allows me to separate myself from my emotions and better see what's going on in the bigger picture. 


So this morning, 

instead of getting up and immediately getting to work, I took a few minutes to do energy medicine and yoga with a little hand stand practice. Then I sat down to write this, because I haven’t really done this in a week, and it really is important to me. The great thing about freelancing is that really, it doesn’t matter when you work as long as it gets done on time – you can structure your day any way you want, and it can change. Today, I plan to do a little more exercise, meditate, then start in on work for the day. Maybe I’ll throw in a short nap. We’ll see how the productivity goes. 

How is everyone else’s Cannabis Cleanse coming along? What obstacles are you having to overcome? Share your story with #cannabiscleanse or email

Copyright © 2016 Kristen Williams, All Rights Reserved