I do this thing where I just write. I have an idea or a thought and I just sit and start writing. A lot of times, it feels like the words are just coming to me from some other place; I don’t always necessarily understand what I mean as I write it down, but I know that it makes sense and is important. So I keep writing.
It’s not all good, don’t get me wrong. I've definitely gone back and rewritten things. I’ll put boxes around words that weren’t quite right when they came out and go back and try to figure something else out. But when it’s happening, it’s just happening. I just write until I’m done.
I seem to have this weird rhythm engrained in my brain that comes through in pretty much all of my poetry. I don’t know where it came from. But I like it every time, so I don’t fight it. I studied a poem my last semester in college: Hope is the Thing with Feathers by Emily Dickinson, and I think it may have really influenced me. It was the first poem I really took the time to delve into and try to understand completely independently; I fell in love with analyzing and pondering words, feeling their energies and trying to understand their meaning.
What I’ve always found interesting about a lot of artists is how little they talk about their work or their thought process. We have to speculate the meanings behind elements in artwork, and I know we’ve all had that thought while sitting in art history class: “How do you really know that’s what the artist was thinking?” I understand that ambiguity can be a wonderful thing, and many artists don’t want their audience to necessarily understand what’s going on or why it was done; its existence is what matters. But we do write ups all the time on others’ work, trying to figure out what they were thinking, but we never sit down and do the same thing to ourselves. A lot of the decisions I make in my work are intuitive, as I know many other artists are, and I find it fascinating to step back and try to figure out why I did something the way I did. What in my life influenced me to think this way? Why did I choose this word over another? What was my soul in that moment trying to say to me or others?
As artists, we often feel the compelling urge to create; now we need to stop and figure out why. I believe that artistic expression may be our souls’ way of communicating with us, therefore stopping to listen and learn form what you are experiencing is an important part of understanding ourselves and this universe.
Each week, I’ll be posting a poem or other piece of writing I’ve done and openly analyze what I was thinking when writing. Meditation and mindful living have helped guide me in my search for enlightenment. I spend a lot of time considering the idea of a soul, so a lot of times my writing centers around spiritual themes. I have begun to develop my own beliefs surrounding our universe, and I would like to share some of my most intense thoughts with you from my open mind to yours.