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Kristen Williams Designs

KRISTEN WILLIAMS, EDUCATOR + DESIGNER
  • Cannabis
    • Hempsley
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    • Cannabis Cleanse
    • Legalize It
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    • Keep Up
  • Self Care
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©2015 KRISTEN WILLIAMS
DISCLAIMER

Don't be afraid of Jealousy

January 27, 2015 in Life

I dreaded my Creative Writing class today. Last class, everyone was to bring a one-page short story to share, and I had a great time concocting mine in the wee hours of the night before. I really felt I had a good story and was excited to hear feedback on my creation. 

When it came time for someone to share, nobody wanted to go first. The professor stared like they do, eyes penetrating as he pleaded for someone to volunteer. I raised my hand, figuring I was going to at some point anyway. I read my story, finishing confidently, since I really liked my oh-so-clever ending. 

The professor stared and then requested I pass my paper around the giant circle of students to him. The class silently slumped on the edge of their seats at the awkward tension, not knowing how to react to the situation. I anticipated. "A critique," he grunted. 

A hand rose and with a nod the boy began, cutting deep with his words. The class fell silent. "What else?" the professor coldly encouraged. "We're looking for positive things, too." 

Other classmates consoled me with what I could only now believe to be their pity. Then, the professor wrapped the critique up with a comment on my "graph of tension," ultimately finishing with a hard blow to my "oh-so-clever" ending. 

Then I sat there, listening to him melt over the next short stories. And then I sat there today, again watching him pour over my classmates' words. I boiled inside, feeling my skin go red hot at every praise he offered. I sat in raw resentment, my face muscles avidly refusing to acknowledge even one moment of his dry humor, and found myself hating even more my classmates who were receiving praise. I exuded negativity.

I was jealous. I wanted the professor to love my story. I did my best to take the criticism at face value and learn from it, but that was just so damn hard to do while the professor continued to coo about literally everyone else's.  But jealousy can be a motivator, what with that deep green voice inside screaming at you to be better. The trick is to speak kindly in both words and thoughts to all beings, including yourself. Instead of resenting my classmates, I should have felt joy at their success and taken special note of what techniques they utilized to make their writing good, then implemented them myself. However, I was too busy shooting death glares at anyone who'd had any shred of success to really learn from what my classmates were doing. In the end, we're not here to be each other's competition; we're here to help guide one another and create something bigger, better, and more beautiful than ourselves. If all we can seem to desire is hate for a person or their talent, we are missing out on the unique experience being offered and the potential guidance through life that we could have access to.

I didn't write this post on Friday because it was still a little sore, and the bruise always gets worse before getting better, but I'm hoping that realizing and experiencing these emotions will help Wednesday's class to not be so saturated in negativity. Instead of feeling jealous, I will work to feel inspired by those around me and the opportunities for guidance they have to offer me. 

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@hempsleyhealth’s Heart of Health Exchange starts TOMORROW!! I’m not going to lie...it has been an *incredibly* stressful few weeks leading up to this. It’s been really hard. It’s been really scary. I’ve wanted to quit/cancel/crawl into a hole more times than I can count. But we’re here. It’s time. It’s HAPPENING. And I am SO EXCITED!!!!
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When I conceived the Heart of Health Exchange, I wasn’t sure if anyone would be interested, or I’d get enough sponsors to be able to pay for the vision that was developing in my mind...but now, 5 and a half months later, we have over 50 different companies across the country involved in this educational initiative and sponsors, influencers, and attendees traveling all the way from California, Colorado, Texas, Kansas, and Nebraska to attend the in-person event at @logboatbrewing this Saturday. I have been surprised over and over by how many people want to support and get involved with this mission to help bring endocannabinoid system education to the public, both on a national and LOCAL level. People are ready for this information. And it’s finally time to publish it all. .
If you’re in or anywhere near Columbia, MO, I would really really love for you to come to the event this Saturday. After 5 years of being in the cannabis industry, traveling to lots of legal markets, attending events, and learning, this event combines inspiration from coast to coast experiences into an event tailored specifically to the Midwest and embodies everything that I would want in my perfect wellness-education event. You can purchase your tickets at bit.ly/hohexchange!
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And if you can’t make it, I hope you follow the @hempsleyhealth Stories this week for lots of information, videos with my canna-buddies traveling from all over, giveaways, and more!
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I am *only* here because of you all, my incredible community, and all of your support, love, and encouragement — I can’t thank you enough. Sending so much love to each and every single one of you!!
I'm going to get real with you wonderful people. This week, I launched the biggest project I have ever endeavored on, the @hempsleyhealth Heart of Health Exchange — & it was terrifying. The night before it went live, I was second-guessing everything: Can I really do this? Will anyone care? Will I get backlash because I'm in a prohibition state? Will my community — my home — still welcome me?
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I've always been the person who's more comfortable sitting at the back of the room, observing & taking notes, rather than speaking up to share the ideas that were on my mind. It was always easier, and a lot less scary...until I discovered something scarier: that millions of people — including those that I love — were not only being deprived of natural and accessible life-saving medicine, but being locked up for needing it.
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This fall, my state, Missouri, will *finally* be voting on medical cannabis. After discovering that I was terrible at gathering petition signatures & fundraising, I decided that the way I could help was by educating the public so that when it did come to a vote, people would be able to cast *informed* votes.
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THAT is what the Heart of Health Exchange is about: eliminating fear of this plant by educating people about how & why cannabis works the way it does while normalizing it as just another wellness tool, something as approachable and accessible as essential oils, herbs, or nutrition.
.
This project is really hard. It's really scary. It's really big...but I have never felt more sure that it's something I need to do. This plant has the power to change and SAVE lives, and we the people deserve safe access to it.
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From now til the election, I'm going to be keeping Prohibition Diaries on the @hempsleyhealth IGTV reflecting on my experiences using non-intoxicating natural wellness tools to take care of myself during the next crazy couple months. And on this account, I'll be sharing the entrepreneurial side of it all: the why, the struggles, the victories, & all the gooey sappy heart feels that come with it. 🙃
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I hope you'll join me on this journey and join the conversation with #hohexchange ❤️🙏 Love & appreciate you all

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